“TRANSFORM a NATION”!!
Have our nations transformed or are they in the process of doing so? Have our nations become more than a common history or language or even religion? Have they transformed to be an entity of global citizens irrespective of gender, social status, religion, or color? In its transformation, our nation is witnessed through the observance of the weakness of woman, brutality of man, stereotype for gender roles, insecurities of an individual in portraying his or her potential, and the list runs on incessantly …..
But if we look deeply, in spite of all the suffering many people made it; Martin Luther King led the civil rights movement, Nelson Mandela’s figure was linked to anti-apartheid, Gandhi found in peace the only way to peace, Mother Theresa became the global icon for selfless services to others, Eleanor Roosevelt made the contribution to human rights a topic she campaigned throughout her life.
These people became a symbol. They lived for a cause and dedicated their lives to this cause. They became models for people who want to be free, and dream to be free. It started with shifting the self, with the insight towards their existence and means of living and not only survival, as making a “living” is not the same as making a “life”. These people transformed the nation with the transformation of the self.
What about you, and you, and me? What about us? Let us be honest with the self and ask ourselves this major life question.
Is there a possibility to build our nation as we aspire? Do we have the courage to transform?
In response to these questions I would like to share with you one of my life experiences that many of you might have encountered.
I faced a lot of challenges where culture, society, and sometimes religion put me in a box on daily basis! I had to live with a lot oflimitations for my potentials. I was forced to suppress the self instead of releasing the freedom to fly. And in many times I had to confront the questions by society, about the identity. And the question is, “how can a scattered identity transform to real and authentic identity?”
Often, I wake up with a lot of hesitations and worries about the daily life routine, my divorced mom who lives on the other side of earth, with the everlasting sorrow in her eyes, with the feelingof incapability to do anything, with life expenses, unpaid bills, broken heart from time to time, work, and the most challenging is striking a life balance between family and work. My mind is troubled with jumbled questions in which the society asks right and left with no room for one’s privacy.
How can the daily assignments of being a mother ignore the existence of a successful working lady?
Why is it awkward for this working woman to be devoted mother with her kids?
It was a challenge to find answers for these questions. How can I deal with toxic people who look after my failures bringing up all the negative thoughts, where I am most in need for people who let me stand up for myself and live for a cause?
I have always questioned myself: I am transforming to positivity, and I don’t think I am harming anyone, so why am I being opposed? I think of myself as a caterpillar trying to patiently transform into a graceful butterfly, but some force of society is trying to tear my larva off…
These challenges made my discovery for the self, made me listen to my inner voice and changed my view to the world. It made the twist. There is always a starting point. The point that I started to see things not in the eyes of others but from the self, the moment that made me able to see the pain in others and respect it, the moment that a hungry child, a tortured prisoner, a homeless person or a violence woman matters to me, the moment that I refused to create a single incomplete story about the cookies saleman who used to visit the university when I was a student, the moment that made me read the human identity of what the society calls him the “nobody”. With each moment of these stories I have learned a lesson. These stories truly signalmy transformation and enabled me to stand out in the society.After all, all great stories start from an imagination that has derived its moral from real life suppressions.
It is funny how I have learned many values from fairytales I tell my daughter at night.
You are all familiar with the story of Cinderella. It drew a very beautiful image for the world; it is amazing how the rich prince married the poor Cinderella regardless of the social status. She wanted to go to the ball so badly and wished HERSELF a beautiful dress and wagon. She believed that having a nice dress and ride will get her a prince, failing to anticipate that the prince wanted her for the peasant girl she was. Apart from “love” being the true drive of this circumstance, social status and false expectations became secondary, thus revealing the essence of understanding and human companionship. Her wish made her life transformation. And this is what I teach my daughter that when we dream let us dream big and let our dreams come true. And I keep teaching her and myself about the insignificance of social status and discrimination. We are all alike; not even a fancy dress defines us.
For me being a daughter, a wife, a mother, an educator, and a lawyer have shaped my identity but never restricted it. I have created an identity for myself “a human rights defender, defender for humanitarian dignified existence. The identity is identified by what we choose and not what was born with us.
It happens that as a woman, I am perceived and questioned by man. I have to tell you that: I do not have any desire to be equal to man. We are not equal; we have a lot of differences. You should recognize our differences. We are not in a battle field; however, we complete and do not compete each other. And together, we can make a change. It’s all about equity and not equality. And that was the mental shift:
I have learned to delete all the negative thoughts
I have learned that failure lies in our mind and not in success
I have learned not to judge others as judgment is the definition of the self and not the other
I have learned to change my weaknesses to strengths
I have learned to live with my positives as a desired destination.
I have learned to stick to people who lift me up
I have learned to teach life to my students to let them jump and get empowered from their energy, because what it matters ishow you let them feel not only what you do say or do
I have learned that there is no right or wrong, and that when I decide something with an open heart, the power of righteous is always with me
I have decided to develop self confidence
I have decided to develop a loving attitude
I have decided to stand for injustice
I have decided to share the common stories with others, to live our differences and not defeat them
I have learned to change the perception of we women who are ignorant; it is the ignorance of treating women,
I have learned that there is a lot to learn, and I realized that men and women are one, and neither wants to be ignorant, judged, stereotyped, and discriminated, for we are all human.
This is my daily doctrine: My identity is not held hostage by the society. I created my own culture: let us feel good about ourselves
We are a definition of ourselves. We are only one definition for difference.
My name is the choice of others. They named me Khouloudwhich means eternity; I have committed myself to keep these values eternal till my last breath
My name is Human…..
My nationality is Humanity…..
My age is counted by the moments in which my dignity is respected….
I am a human being, with a special power to love and be loved…..
I am a woman, who insisted to get rid of the silk threads of the larva, and be a butterfly, flying in the sky of freedom, screaming with one voice: Liberty, Justice, equality, freedom, dignity and humanity are my identity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FeX8M8VmI0
For more info - Define your Difference
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